Yes. I actually keep forgetting that I have a blog! I'm a bit obsessed with Facebook and eBay, that's what takes up most of my already-limited computer time!
But... I thought I'd check into my blog. I miss blogging! I miss all the cool little features and personalizations I used to have. I also miss the time I used to have to add all of the cool little features and personalizations! LOL Maybe they'll show up again.
Anyway.... here I am. Things are good. I love that my new blog title is "musings of a NOT SO desperate housewife...." it used to be sooooo desperate! Much, much MUCH has changed. The biggest thing, aside from becoming a first-time birth mommy, is that I'm clean. I got really, really sick for a while there. Addiction is a nasty illness (and yes, skeptics, I do consider it an illness). It took me to some horrible heinous places that I still have nightmares about, almost two years later. It will be 2 years clean & free for me on August 8th.
I'd love to say that I'm totally into the 12-step program that helped me get clean, but I'm just not. I haven't been to a meeting in months. Many months! I haven't "worked the steps", my sponsor is totally incommunicado, dealing with her own stuff... yet I'm still clean. Don't misinterpret; I'm so not "anti-program". It's an awesome thing. I am just living a normal life, making healthier choices and simply not using drugs anymore. Yeah.
The other huge thing is that I had a baby! A BABY!!! I never thought that would happen to me. I adopted two beautiful amazing boys with my ex-husband. I feel really blessed that I got to be a mommy both ways! How cool! But after struggling with infertility for many years, I totally gave up the dream that I would ever be a tummy mummy. It's pretty much a miracle, and one that has changed me forever in so many ways. WOW.
In fact, I love it so much that we decided to do it again! We're having another baby boy, due Nov. 5th. The wild ones will be 16 months apart. My older two are about 17 months apart, so I know it's going to be a buuuuusssssyyyyyy time. Lots of diapers. Lots of messes. Lots of love and fun!
I haven't told my two older boys that it's a boy yet. They both want a sister. I was really hoping for a girl, too. In fact when we found out the other day that it's a boy, I was honestly pretty upset! I had to let go of the dream of a mini-me! (YIKES. My mom would probably say that's more of a nightmare. I was a bit of a hellish teen). Anyway, I let myself grieve, processed the feelings... and then was like, 'YAY! Another boy!' At least I know what I'm doing when it comes to boys! It's hard to imagine what this little guy is going to look like. Plus, he'll have clothes forever! LOL
Well I have many things to do... Baby's one-year birthday party is tomorrow. I'm super-excited. I'll try not to wait another 9 months before another post.
Thanx for reading!
